Harry Potter and the stuff that happens after
by randomreb
Summary: Harry Potter has seen all sorts of evil but never before has he faced the evils of Children. With angst and curse words involved maybe Lord Voldemort was not as bad as he seemed? Well at least he was better than Ron anyway...
1. Sibling Rivalry

It was finally the summer holidays and Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry had at long last ended for another term. The Hogwarts express steamed into platform nine and three quarters and the students rushed out arms open expectantly for their parents, eyes wide and grinning wildly. Two silhouetted figures stood waiting at the platform; one held a small child and the other looked proud and exhilarated. With a glowing appearance to her face Ginny walked slowly along the platform looking for her two boys. Harry watched her worried but excited face with increased interest. He walked over to her and put a reassuring arm on her sleeve. Silent words were exchanged as he saw the worry in her eyes, and the strained smile on her face.

Two boys hung wearily at the doors of the Hogwarts express, the brothers stood looking onwards with mixed emotion. "Albus, they are going to kill us for what you did", said James staring harshly at his brother from their hidden post behind the trains door.

"You'll be in no trouble, you might as well go ahead", said Albus sighing and trying not to look smug.

"You've changed so much in the last year, and look stop smiling already you did nothing to be proud off!" James clipped his brother roughly round the back of the head and Albus muttered darkly to himself.

"Slytherin bloody suits you well now then, can't believe I'm related to you!" James pushed his brother aside as he leapt of the train and onto the platform as Albus watched him from the floor of the Hogwarts express, still smiling.

Back at Hogwarts Albus had been caught in the restricted section at midnight on more than one occasion. He had been disruptive in class and often spent too much time in study and not socializing with other students. He had been time difficult for a lot of the teachers and certainly the other houses, playing practical jokes in the other common rooms and tricking students into revealing passwords. His parents had received various letters by owl about this, they had been warned by the school to punish the boy for his behaviour and make sure he improves otherwise he would not be allowed back next term.

Ginny watched as her first child appeared, rather than the joyous look of a boy reunited with his mother she saw a broken angry look on his face. Harry took Lily from her as Ginny walked towards James arms held out expectantly. He pushed past his mother as walked towards his father brow furrowed as he shoved at him.

"Had to have three kids? Couldn't stick just the one? What did you do to him as a baby, bludgeon on the head straight out of the maternity ward? Think he was a ball or something and bounced him up and down? What did he inherit the evil gene or something this is bloody ridiculous for goodness sake, my brother just ruined my mother pumpkin son of a troll bogey life!" Harry turned pale and looked quite shocked at his son's attitude, especially after not seeing his parents for nearly a year he expected his son to be slightly more affectionate.

"Where's my hug?" asked Ginny as she stood beside Harry, hand on hips.

"Mother pumpkin son of a troll bogey? Swearing has changed a bit since I was your age…" Harry murmured shaking his head.

"Oh I'm sorry daddy I forgot you didn't ever leave the local library, life's just so exciting for you so mermaids stockingsly exciting!" James kicked his father hard in the shin and Harry shrieked.

"You little Twat! I thought Albus was turning into the black sheep of the family, your behaving like a five year old muggle with pig tails and a tutu," he rubbed his ankle and grimaced while his wife just looked bemused that no hug had greeted her yet.

"Dad nobody says words like twat, cool or uncorrupted democracy anymore that's so last decade!" James marched onwards towards his mother as he grabbed his little sister from his dad's reluctant arms. "Hey Lily, no offence by the way from what I said earlier", James stroked his sister on the head as she gurgled a reply.

"Goo", she said lovingly as drool slid down her cheek.

"I just really hate all of you", James remarked indifferently.


	2. The Weasley's Children

Albus had managed to sneak behind Ron and Hermione who were too busy squeezing the life out of their children to notice him. Ron patted Hermione on the head supportively as the children hung off her like she was a climbing frame. Unfortunately for Ron he had and accident with a boa constrictor that had bitten off his tongue, mainly because at the time Ron Weasley thought it was funny to stick his tongue out at a snake. Hermione had been less impressed but secretly glad he couldn't repeat it again to lead a bad example to the children.

"Well darlings I'm so glad to see you, my beautiful rose and my handsome Hugo!" whispered Hermione hugging them close. "it's been dull without you, just dad and me", then she figured she had been offensive to Ron and added"; Of course the fact he is a mute is nothing to do with the reason it's been dull, rather the weather or something". Finding this suitable she patted them on the head and looked amused when she saw Albus's crouching figure behind them.

"Hello mister potter, how was you first year?" Hermione pulled a curl out from behind her ear and eyed it carefully, on the lookout for the tell tale signs of premature aging.

Albus shrugged and Rose jumped quite dramatically from her mother's side to greet him. He took a few haphazard steps backwards as she landed a hug on his waist. "I love you hair it's so shiny", she said fastening her grip on his legs.

"That's because I use conditioner," He said trying wearily to shake her off.

"I'm psychic you know, your going to grow up to be an evil wizard", she said blinking slowly and dramatically to win him over. Hermione rolled her eyes and Hugo realised his grip and joined Rose but on Albus's remaining leg.

"She said the post man was delivering us a letter bomb this morning, the day before she told me the cat was going to set itself on fire and the week before that she said…" Hermione chuckled softly then added more seriously, "well actually one did come true, although personally I blame Ron for being daft enough to stick his tongue out at a seventeen foot long boa constrictor, plus he had a warning from my little prophet". Rose beamed a large grin at Albus from her position as she crushed his leg.

"Is your hair real Albus or is from a pony?" asked rose.

Her brother interrupted covering her mouth with his hand, "Don't be silly everyone knows ponies are extinct! That's because it was discovered by mummy that ponies contain a certain antidote that cures werewolves for good. So all the werewolves ate all the ponies OBVIOUSLY".

" Hugo wants to be a scientist how lovely, I know you must find it odd because I choose to live in the muggle part of London but I find it brings the best out of my children", Hermione sighed and looked whimsical like she was thinking of a time long ago.

Ron saw she was caught of guard and signed 'help me' with his hands, It was remarkable how being a leader at the muggle boy scouts could save your life. Although not this time. Wizards do not need to learn sign language because being able to speak it part of the process of magic and if you can't then your just some confused looking person with a stick. So Albus did what society trained him for and nodded and smiled reassuringly hoping he was asking him if he was feeling healthy.

" My hair is real though", he mumbled as he finally managed to shake the Weasley's offspring off his limbs.

" can I have a piece?" replied Rose cocking her head to the side like an upbeat chicken.

" No", said Albus. " Please stop asking".


End file.
